Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
