You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
