Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
