we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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