there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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