Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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