like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
