The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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