a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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