I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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