Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Even my vagina gasped.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
