i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
