I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
