where am i from again
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
