is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
