Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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