We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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