i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
