Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
