Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we're making bets on your personal life
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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