Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
