then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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