Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
