I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
