I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
