Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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