i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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