Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
