My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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