Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
