I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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