Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
