do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
