I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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