You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
