roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
