We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize