i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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