I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just invented taco cereal.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
