The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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