We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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