I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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