Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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