Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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