i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
