i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
