my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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