yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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