I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
