If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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