This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
