I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
did you just send me my own nude
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
