Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
