She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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