I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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