I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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