I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
