i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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