I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
