fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im holly from the hills drunk
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
