after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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