what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
try to milk me bitch
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