I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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