News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
