put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
