No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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