he was CRYING into my vagina
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
