I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
